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willowcrowned:

on one hand more people should remember that the OP can always see their tags. on the other hand there is no tumblr experience quite like opening your notes and seeing someone fully and openly talking about their blood drinking kink at 8am on a tuesday

dduane:

teratocybernetics:

manyblinkinglights:

sreegs:

foone:

A fun thing about computer skills is that as you have more of them, the number of computer problems you have doesn’t go down.

This is because as a beginner, you have troubles because you don’t have much knowledge.

But then you learn a bunch more, and now you’ve got the skills to do a bunch of stuff, so you run into a lot of problems because you’re doing so much stuff, and only an expert could figure them out.

But then one day you are an expert. You can reprogram everything and build new hardware! You understand all the various layers of tech!

And your problems are now legendary. You are trying things no one else has ever tried. You Google them and get zero results, or at best one forum post from 1997. You discover bugs in the silicon of obscure processors. You crash your compiler. Your software gets cited in academic papers because you accidently discovered a new mathematical proof while trying to remote control a vibrator. You can’t use the wifi on your main laptop because you wrote your own uefi implementation and Intel has a bug in their firmware that they haven’t fixed yet, no matter how much you email them. You post on mastodon about your technical issue and the most common replies are names of psychiatric medications. You have written your own OS but there arent many programs for it because no one else understands how they have to write apps as a small federation of coroutine-based microservices. You ask for help and get Pagliacci’d, constantly.

But this is the natural of computer skills: as you know more, your problems don’t get easier, they just get weirder.

you know you’ve made it when you’re googling problems and ending up with 0-9 results

#you don’t actually have to be good to have these problems#you just have to be obsessed with a micro-issue that no one else cares about

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Oh sweet heaven the truth in this. :/

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(This comic is now over ten years old)

The canonical experience of being Very Computer is it being 3am, your main computer no longer booting, and desperately attempting to salvage an older computer into a workable enough state to be able to attach bits of the new computer and see if it works then.

The canonical experience of being Professionally Very Computer is to be doing this in a data centre with the white noise of aircon slowly driving you mad, sitting in a pool of motion-activated fluorescent blue-white light in the wine-dark sea of blinkenlighten, attempting to remember the flags for tar and hoping that the next debug steps will take you ~, while occasionally having to stand up and wave to keep the lights and everything else from forgetting about you.

guiltrose:

do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

Anonymous
asks:

oh I didn't realize you used to be a huge piece of shit

toskarin:

now this may surprise some of the audience, but the majority of humans have to survive a phase called “being a teenager” and the results are often catastrophic

One of the most useful things about the Elder Millennial status is that my early teen years were spent without the internet, and my late teen years are buried in the rubble where Opendiary used to stand.

*checks*

… buried in the foundations of where a new building has been erected on the site where the original Opendiary used to stand.

apas-95:

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This isn’t to say it’s hard to find the rest of that sentence, but if I - as a British citizen, or somewhere the British government could find a gap to crowbar legislation - were to say the bit in red, my tumblr account being deleted would be the first echo of a truly outstanding avalanche of bad times.

firetinasty:

magicalgirlmindcrank:

magicalgirlmindcrank:

Hello welcome my ADHD themed gameshow, “So you were holding it literally moments ago but now it’s gone” the where YOU look for whatever you were just holding while going increasingly mad

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I’m just trying to get the mood right

Reblog if you didn’t notice the missing words

fragariavescana:

vrpltransdyke:

dharma-initiative-official:

prokopetz:

Robot with a comprehensive selection of hot-swappable dicks carefully organised and labelled in three separate carrying cases: one for metric, one for Imperial, and one for commonly encountered nonstandard and legacy applications.

calibrated analysis dick. parallel 100ghz sense-data connections. don’t bother using it if the room’s vertical temperature gradient isn’t controlled to better than 1C. came with a felt-lined case for transport and storage, which includes torque wrenches for proper installation

you can’t even get the catalogue unless you’ve had a threesome with the ceos of rohde & schwarz and amphenol

Mona Lisa: I twisted it just right.
Vinny: How can you be so sure?
Mona Lisa: If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model dick requires a range of 10-16 foot pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage.
Vinny: How can you be sure you used 16 foot pounds of torque?
Mona Lisa: Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory edition, signature series torque wrench. The kind used by Cal Tech High Energy physicists, and NASA engineers.
Vinny: In that case, how can you be sure THAT’S accurate?
Mona Lisa: Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the dick, it had been calibrated by top members of the state and federal Departments of Weights and Measures, to be dead-on balls accurate. Here’s the certificate of validation!
Vinny: “Dead-on balls accurate”?
Mona Lisa: It’s an industry term.

I can’t believe I should have to say this but you shouldn’t be torquing your penises. What do they teach you in sex-ed these days? This is unreliable because the actual tension on the mating surface at a certain torque depends on how well lubed-up you are.

You should be using the torque-angle method: tighten to the seating torque provided by the OEM (roughly where the stress starts to linearly increase) then turn the cock by the correct angle to bring it to the desired stress.

While the above is theoretically true, a load of practical users are pretty much entirely torque.

a bearded collie - Rylan - flat out on a blue sofa, his head on his front pawsALT

They said I could become whatever I wanted, so I became a sofa cushion.

memewhore:

Description: Tiktok video, original on the right, real-time reaction by  Jonathan Frakes on the left.

Original: Masc actor in a Star Trek TNG uniform sits using the “Riker Manoeuvre” (Straighten uniform, approaches a chair from behind, lifting his leg over the chair as he sits in it) on a hip-height stool, and then smiles confidently. Caption: Novice.

Reaction: Leans forward in interest, hand over chin.

Original: Caption: “Intermediate”, Actor sits on a curved white office/dining style chair with the same manoeuvre

Reaction: Interest, smiles.

Original: Caption: “Advanced”, Actor repeats the manoeuvre on a lowered gaming chair with some difficulty.

Reaction: Laughter

Original: Caption: “Expert”, Actor performs the Riker Manoeuvre over a brown sofa with a back-rest over the left side, coming in with his left leg through the gap, and his right leg over the back-rest. Same confident smile.

Reaction: Continued Laughter

Original: Caption: “XXXpert”, Actor does a version of the Manoeuvre to lay on a double bed, his back propped on an elbow, his leg cocked into an upright triangle. He salutes the camera jauntily.

Reaction: Further laughter.

Cut to single shot of Frakes

Frakes: “Oh my god, On one of the cruises I hosted a … Riker sits down competition; which that gentleman clearly would have won.

It creeps up on you, slowly first.

You notice it’s some kind of verse,

The meter is a bit familiar to ya.

That weird contraction, out of scheme?

You beg, you sob, you curse and scream

You’ve realised it’s fucking “Halilujah”

evite - Avoid

invite - Request

evitable - Able to be avoided.

invitable - Able to be requested

inevitable - Unable to be avoided.

pattern-recognition:

gunsandfireandshit:

pattern-recognition:

humans love dressing up so much and get there simply aren’t enough occasions that call for dressing up in unique clothing in contemporary western society. yet another tragic loss to the sensorium

That’s why people have raves and goth nights and stuff

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i was actually thinking of georgian chokhas when i made this post but you’re right this would kill it at a goth night

One of the major pitches for LARP for me was the ability to wear more cloaks.

teathattast:

teathattast:

teathattast:

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💯🙏💛🟨👍

Worst part about this is I’ve only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn’t who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is

Reading through the notes is a surreal experience please keep adding more to fuel my effervescent consumption of non descriptive emojis